Posts Tagged ‘movie’

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Wednesday, May 6th, 2009

So I waited a while before writing this one up. Mostly because I needed to digest what it was I had just seen. For starters, I went in hoping for awesome and expecting another X-Men 3 fiasco.

The movie itself was all right. It wasn’t terrible and it certainly avoided the levels of fail X-Men 3 had. It just wasn’t particularly good. It was sort of average overall. Maybe because I’m a comic book fan and grew up with the cartoon, which of course makes me a little picky. I was still defending it to a friend who I went with who was much more upset by the lack of accuracy than I was.

The movie starts out great. They cut down a six issue comic down to two minutes and, while I would have liked a little more, they did a pretty good job of making it a pretty interesting cinematic opening. They changed continuity, but I can accept it so long as I don’t recall X-men 1, where Sabertooth doesn’t seem to have any sort of memory of how they were brothers. They fight in the wars, get shot in the head and brought to the team.

And then the team is bad ass. Loved watching them infiltrate the building, have Wade as the smart ass he was when he was in Killbrew’s lab and being annoying as hell and in character.

I loved the movie until Wolverine left the squad. He goes to Canada, falls in love with Kayla (who I learned after the movie was Silverfox) and leads a life of poorly written scenes that really needed a chop.

That’s what I had problem with in the movie. Any scene that wasn’t an action sequence was kind of dull. I didn’t care, I just wanted them to stop talking and get to the next plot point. Later in the movie, I came to my senses and realized I just wanted another action sequence because those were the times I enjoyed the movie. That’s essentially what it comes down to, so time for the nitpicking!

The casting was really well done. Even Will I Am was good, which shocked me. He did downright respectable. And I have to admit that Meriadoc Brandybuck was playing a guy named Brandy. Dominic M-name I can’t remember. Everyone, really, was a good fit for their roles. A shame the script and direction didn’t work out.

Maybe I’m looking for nostalgia in the wrong places, but what was with Gambit’s accent? It wasn’t there half the time and wasn’t thick enough the rest. My poor childhood memories are not being upheld! My friend pointed out that they pronounced his last name wrong. Now, I don’t care because Cajun in this case is an insultingly poor bastardization of a French accent if I remember right, so I have no problem with that part, but apparently it was really upsetting to her.

As for Deadpool? He didn’t show up. We got Wade, dear sweet Wade at the start of the movie and Reynolds did a great job. And then, at the end, we got Weapon XI. He had katana claws and laser eyes. Possibly the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen, but I was laughing my ass off through the fight sequence, so he still made me laugh.

There has been a Deadpool spin off movie confirmed too, so I’m not crushed by Wolverine overall. Some good has come of it. And it wasn’t a bad movie, just dull in the points where they weren’t fighting or being horribly emotionally and physically scarred.

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Dragon Ball Evolution

Monday, April 20th, 2009

I feel like shit today, so I’m home sick. Part of that may have been the food poisoning, but the other part may be due to having seen Dragonball Evolution last night and it’s made me physically ill. Though I’m not sure why. The thing was hilarious.

I’m going to try to come up with 10 things the movie got right. Because it’s going to be a shorter list.

1. They got the names right.
2. They got the dragonballs mostly right. 7 of them. And they look like they could be.
3. … I’ll get back to this.

So the movie is about dear little Goku, the 18 year old white kid in a school full of normally named other white kids and an Asian girl named Chi-Chi. Oh, and the token bullies who are there for no real reason other than to give him the slightest tiny bit of character development maybe in the first bit of the movie.

But first, we find out it’s his 18th birthday and he’s getting a dragonball. You know, just like what all teenagers want for their birthday. He lives in a little house with his grandfather who teaches him to fight but tells him not to fight and that a green alien and his pet monkey are coming back to kill them all at the eclipse.

3. Goku does turn into the monkey.

I’m also going to point out two things while I remember. Firstly, Goku doesn’t have a tail. And second, there’s a full moon during the majority of the movie. Those of you familiar with the series, try not to think about it too hard. Moving on.

Now, instead of going to spend his birthday with his grandpa who is finally going to explain everything about his past, he’s decided to go see Chi-Chi at her party. Because he’s a teenage boy and the libido comes first.

4. Chi-Chi and Goku are romantically involved.

Oh, and the purpose of the bullies comes into play. Earlier he walked away from their teasing. This time, he’s taking the non-violent fight approach. Meaning, they keep missing hitting him and getting each other. It’s actually a pretty fun sequence, and the bullies are never seen again. Off he goes with Chi-Chi.

They talk, they both know what Ki is, but nothing lasts long. He looks up at the full moon, which… pulses, I guess. And he knows something bad’s happening at home. Namely, Piccilo, looking ridiculous, and his ninja assassin lady are there and they destroy the house looking for the dragonball that Goku took with him to the party for no reason.

Goku’s home in time to have his grandfather die in his arms. He goes back into the house, finds his eventual costume change and Bulma snooping through the house with a gun trying to find the dragonball that was stolen from her. Misunderstandings, another fun fight, and then they partner up and head over to Master Roshi’s, just like his grandpa wanted him to.

Roshi is in a little rundown apartment looking house on an island with a bridge to it in the city. They sneak in, he fights them, the misunderstanding is worked out and they get his dragonball and head out, Goku on foot while we see capsule corp tech actually taking form. Roshi’s going to take them to get Goku properly trained and to get the rest of the dragonballs.

Speaking of Rshi’s dragonball. Remember in Lord of the Rings with Pippin found the plantir and Ganfald threw the thing over it so that he couldn’t look into it? That happens with the dragonball here because they’re giving Goku visions. Seriously.

5. Capsule tech. It’s tiny and forms into big technology.

So they make it through the desert and to the rock where it’s not as secret as Roshi thought. There’s a lot of fighters there, all training for a tournament. Oh, and who’s that? It’s Chi-Chi! Time for a moment!

But no, Bulma’s dragonball detector goes off and they’re off again. And then they fall in a hole dug by Yamcha, who now has bleached hair for some reason.

6. Yamcha. He’s a bandit.

So they fall in the hole, exposit everything for a little while, then realize the dragonball is in an underground pit a little ways over from their own, so Roshi gets Yamcha on their side and they make a hole in the wall. Then they end up walking through the tunnels where they encounter Piccolo’s goons.

Which he made in a ridiculous fashion that you really have to see. I laughed so hard.

So they fight and Goku uses them to make a bridge. And then he gets to the next dragonball, has a nice trance session and Piccolo’s assassin chick comes and takes it out of his hands. Fight sequence, they get it back and realize this isn’t working, so they end up going to the fighter tournament where Chi-Chi is!

Oh, and she wins against Piccilo’s goon lady, who was there to steal her blood. But then she’s there hanging out with Goku while there’s a council of old people trying to figure out what to do about making a new container for Piccolo.

Roshi decides it’s time to teach Goku the Kamehameha now. So there’s a brief lesson, then he leaves Goku with instructions to learn it by morning. He has to use it to light candles. And it looks like he’s throwing little clouds.

He’s failing, but that’s okay! Chi-Chi shows up and encourages him a little! Then he gets it and all is well in his life.

Meanwhile Yamcha and Bulma are lovey dovey elsewhere.

7. Bulma and Yamcha end up as a couple.

And then Chi-Chi steals the dragonballs. But it’s not really her, it’s a clone! Which leads, of course, to the fake and the real Chi-Chi fighting and Goku picking to knock out the wrong one. The fake one turns out to be the Piccolo goon chick and she kills him almost to death. And Roshi has no senzu beans, so he magics him back to life with a kamehameha. Okay then.

So now they have to go after Piccolo directly. Yamcha drives them in the car that can apparently fly and Piccolo crashes it once they get to the magical mountain cliff thing. Which is where Goku crashed on the planet thousands of years ago, back when it was a plain. Instead of escaping the car and whatnot immediately, though, he has to change into the orange costume. Then he comes out and faces Piccolo saying that he will defeat the monkey, Ozaru. Because apparently Goku is supposed to defeat Ozaru instead of Piccolo.

And now the eclipse is here!

Didn’t I mention that? Apparently the eclipse is how Goku now changes into Ozaru, the giant monkey. Except he’s not a giant monkey. He’s a bear sized monkey with an ongoing inner conflict that kills Roshi. But Roshi says that he can stop it!

And BAM! He’s not Ozaru anymore! Well, that’s convenient. He faces off against Piccolo at last and uses that Kamehameha that we’ve all been waiting for to cut through Piccolo’s attack and defeats him.

Oh, and Bulma and Yamcha fight and defeat the chick.

But Roshi is dead and we can’t have that. So they use the dragonballs to revive him and all is well in the world again. They’re going to set off to find the dragonballs again and it’s the start of an adventure for them all!

Except that Piccolo isn’t dead. But who cares? There’s no way they’re doing a sequel after this shit.

8. Piccolo is green. Ish.

The movie got all of the characters wrong, the locations wrong and just about every other aspect of the universe wrong. I get that it’s a reinterpretation and all, but they didn’t actually keep anything accurate to the original. It’s like they read a summary, wrote down the names and then made it up.

Fanfic. It was like really bad fanfic. What if Goku was in high school? And so was Chi-Chi! It’s perfect! And no Turtle Island. And… well, it’s bad.

And the cast they cut. Krillin, namely, was a bit of a gaping hole for me. I liked the old punching bag for his part in the story as… a punching bag. The anthromorphic characters are gone, which is understandable, but I really wished they’d had some character traits left lingering elsewhere. Or at least they’d made the wish on the dragonballs a wish for Bulma’s panties.

I’m sure other people far more credible than me will talk about how wooden Justin Chatwin’s acting was too. Damn annoying. And flat and emotionless and… you get it.

But yes, only two more things left. Let’s finish it on a high note. What else did they do right?

9. The fight sequences are actually pretty fun.
10. …
…
…
…
Piccolo didn’t die. That’s really the best I’m going to come up with.

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Watchmen

Tuesday, March 10th, 2009

Who watches the Watchmen? Hopefully not the fanboys because they are going to hate it.

So, after my long break from reading the book (Which I still can’t read because it’s not on the mainland with me) I went to see it. Not opening night like I thought I would, but Sunday night when the theatre was quiet and the fanboys brought their girlfriends to the theatre to watch it. And I have to say, they did a good job making the story into a movie. I was never bored, it kept the drag to a minimum and it didn’t watch like a book. It was close to the book, I think, but it watched like a movie.

Rorschach was wonderful. I think the guy’s name was Haley. His performance was marvellous and I just loved him to death in the movie. The voice, the look on his face, the just about everything in his performance was exactly as I would ever want to see in Rorschach. He made me happy.

Nite Owl too, while I’m at it, and everyone else. It was a wonderfully cast movie. I don’t know who any of them are, but they all did such a great job that I may want to track down a few of their other movies. They looked like their counterparts and acted like their counterparts. I wanted Manhattan’s voice to be a little deeper, but that was negligible.

Although Adrian bothered me. Was he supposed to have an accent or wasn’t he? Because it kind of popped in and out with very little warning between the scenes and I was confused on that point.

It was very much a Snyder film, though. The slow motion action sequences don’t bother me like other people, but the gore and violence was a little gratuitous at parts. Other parts were well done, like the whole bit in the jail and especially Kovack’s little trip to the washroom.

Overall, I loved the movie. It was fun, I thought it kept the point of the story and I liked it. It was a movie and not a comic. I wasn’t sure parts that they kept from the comic fit properly in the movie (Rorschach’s Journal just seemed a little out of place) but some of what they put in was great. And that was probably the best opening credit sequence I’ve ever seen.

The thing I’ve heard the most complaints about from the not so die hard fans, or the guys who saw it and have never read the book, is that there was a naked blue guy in it. Oh, boo hoo. Male full frontal nudity. There was a gratuitous sex scene thrown in there for you so you didn’t feel so threatened. Get over it, there was a lot more to the movie than that. For all the obsession people have had over that, I was actually disappointed it wasn’t as prominent. I barely even noticed, but apparently the guys were just staring at it the whole movie. Go figure.

And, of course, the die hard fans were pissed about the ending, which I thought was a good alteration. They took out a lot of the subplots for time, but the squid from the book was closely tied to all of those subplots. With them gone, they made a plotline from existing story elements that still made excellent sense (more sense than the book in some ways) and the bottom line is that it worked. They couldn’t do everything and so they did what they could and adjusted it wonderfully.

In short, go see it. If only because you’re going to complain about the whole thing later. Either you’ll like the movie or you’ll complain on the internet about it, so there’s no real loss.

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Coraline

Saturday, February 7th, 2009

I was going to read my comics tonight, but I’m too tired right now. So instead, I’m gonna talk about a movie.

Coraline
I saw it last night in 3D. I was a little worried and pretty sceptical because I know it was a novel first and after seeing those Sandman: Dream Hunters comics, I was a little worried that it wouldn’t translate well between the media. Luckily, though, Henry Selick knows what he’s doing and the movie definitely felt like the story belonged in the movie. It was masterfully done.

Side note: Henry Selick did the movie. Tim Burton did not have anything to do with it as far as I’m aware. All he did what write Nightmare Before Christmas. Henry Selick is the guy responsible for the movie part and this movie. One more time, Henry Selick.

Back to the movie. It was wonderfully done. I don’t need to get into the plot because, as it is a children’s horror movie, I shouldn’t say too much lest the surprises be spoiled by those who like them. That said, it is in the very rare genre of children’s horror. In an age where no one wants to expose their children to anything even mildly frightening, this movie is great to scare the kids. I kept wondering if it really was a children’s movie due to some genuinely chilling sequences with the Other Mother. Or anything in the other home with the people with buttons for eyes. There’s something about not having real eyes that creeped me right out.

There’s some rather mature themes in here too. Wybie, short for Why Born, is really disturbing in both universes. In one, he’s a very…. off child. Acts like a kid who knows no one wants him but hopes someone will want him one day. In the other, he’s an unwilling puppet in much the same manner wanting to protect the next victim. It’s rather delightful.

And the cat. And, well, just about everything about the characterization was nicely done. But Wybie stuck with me alongside Coraline. Coraline was a great main character. SHe was just like a real little girl, if a little more clever, and just a little bratty with that good righteousness streak that makes a horror movie heroine make it out alive and victorious at the end. Well, maybe not that clever.

It does follow along with traditional children story format, though. By that, I mean it follows the rule of three over and over again. Three events in one world, three trials mirroring it, three parts to the riddle. It was done in threes. Three characters with growing levels of helpfulness based on the time of their introduction. Three ghosts. Not that there’s anything bad about it, it just struck me as odd afterwards just how well the rule of three played out.

And while the story is excellent (Neil Gaiman fan here, though, so I may be a little biased), I am left with one last little detail that I can’t remember the resolution to. What happened to Little Me? The Coraline doll seems to have gone missing without any resolution to that storyline. I doubt it will lead to a sequel, but it is bothering me now. Did that part wrap up without my remembering? I don’t think they actually said what happened to the doll, but if anyone goes to see the movie and catches what happens with it, please do tell me.

And I have to talk about the 3D. I know it’s what everyone else is already talking about, but I don’t watch 3D much. And this one didn’t use it to have things pup up at me. Instead, it was more about demonstrating the atmosphere and just how much was or wasn’t there. How things moved in the space. How they came out and then how they went away. There might have been one or two pop out to scare and shock moments, but most of it was beautifully done to just draw the audience in.

In short, go see the movie. Pay the extra whatever to get the glasses too, because it’s some of the most stunning 3D work you’ll ever see. And bring your kids. Because, while it will scare them, it was a movie that’s supposed to scare them. And that scene with the old woman wearing less than her underwear (Not naked, but OH MY GOD I laughed so hard as I reminded myself this was a children’s movie) will scar their young psyche good.

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Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Friday, July 13th, 2007

I went to Harry Potter last night. Anyone who doesn’t want to know what I thought of it because you haven’t read the book and still want to be surprised should probably go away right now. I don’t remember the book so well, but I’m pretty sure the fact that nothing surprised me plot-wise is a pretty good indication that there will be few to no spoilers for the ones who have read the thing.

Oh, and comic reviews won’t show up til Wednesday, as I’m away for the weekend without internet. BAHAHAHA!

Okay, is everyone who doesn’t want to hear it gone now? Good.

I loved it. It was really a lot of fun and was a little cleaner than the book had been. Yes, I know, JK Rowling is infallible and utterly incapable of writing bad fiction. I found the fifth only okay and like it had a few superfluous scenes/dialogue/chapters and felt like they had removed a lot of stuff because of appropriateness.

In the movie, however, a lot of those nice little relationship things between characters seem to have returned where I wish they were in the book. Amazing what you can do with altered perspective, neh?

Luna Lovegood was an awesome cast. I loved that kid in that role. Umbridge was so… pink and cats. They got her good. Tonks seemed like a good fit too, but she was barely in the bloody thing, so I have no idea how good she was. Seriously, she spoke in maybe two scenes and nothing about her was explained. Shame, really. And Bellatrix, while I’m at it, was just fun.

Ginny, however, had two lines in total I think and I wish she had a little more development since she’s going to be playing a decent sized part in the next one. Granted, both her lines resulted in things getting blown up. And I like things blowing up.

And the effects over all were nice. Not quite Transformers (I’m still enamoured by that movie), but still very fun. Lots of nice work with particle effects.

There were bits in there, like the book, that didn’t need to be there but it was cleaner, which was nice. And it was still a bit bright. I mean, it could have been darker, but it’s good that they’re actually maturing the movies with the books. Parents who are complaining that the movies are too dark, would you READ THE BOOK with your kid before taking them to the movie?! Or just read the book before giving it to your kid? Come on people, you can spare a little time to actually parent, can’t you?

But yes, stopping now before I launch into that rant. It was a good movie worth seeing in the theatre for some of the effects and if you’re a fan of the books. Because without the books, you aren’t going to know why the hell some of these characters are around. Have a good weekend, people.

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Eragon

Saturday, December 16th, 2006

Wow, I must really not have much happening in my life if I keep writing reviews for stuff. Anyway, last night I went to see Eragon with Shazzi, that movie that was based on a book written by some apparent child prodigy at the age of fifteen named Chris Paolini or something. I have not read the books, nor have I seen how he may have masterfully crafted the stories together. Instead, I saw the movie.

Well, it was entertaining. And definitely worth free.

The CG was pretty, though a little unnatural at points (despite it being a fantasy movie, I know, but it just didn’t look right dammit!) and the baby dragon part was completely adorable. I wanted one. The action sequences were nicely executed for the most part and, well, it was pretty well done as a movie.

The bad part was in the story and MY GOD the dialogue. Cheesy lines galore! And the story? A mix of Lord of the Rings, Star Wars and Dragon Riders of Pern. And all of it with a *twitch*Gary Stu*twitchtwitch* as the main character. Let’s start with that one.

This kid goes what seems like instantly from being a farm boy, to a hero after his uncle gets killed. Star Wars. Anyway. Unusually strong bond with his dragon, constantly being whiny about the whole “Why me? I never asked for this,” cliche, oh and lets not forget how he’s apparently unnaturally gifted with magic too. Of course, magic has a price, but only when dramatically appropriate. All of the girls he seems to instantly get along with, care for and BOOM! They seem to like him back. It’s not a key plot point, but it annoyed me. He picks up sword fighting and becomes an awesome shot with a bow out of what seems like nowhere too. He also managed to yell at his dragon and the dragon just completely forgives him. Oh, and it learns to breathe fire at just the right time. All his flaws seem to be quickly glossed over and he ends up taking out Grima or whatever the story called him after what seems like a couple days of having his ass handed to him by the guy. My god. GARY STU ALERT!

Shaz and I spent the movie pointing out things we recognized as references to just about everything we noticed. Orcs and Urgals or however you spell them. Their dark sorcerer and Grima Wormtongue. And he screamed of Grima Wormtongue too. There was one guy who reminded her, then me, of Gimli. DAMN YOU SHAZZI! Oh, and the Varden? The race of the Varden looked suspiciously like they were just black people. Obiwan died again, under the guise of Brom (fantasy name number 62 for those of you wondering) after he passes on his sword.

There’s plot similarities too, but I found something that can do a better job than I can. See, after the movie I had this horrible suspicion that there was going to be more Star Wars in the “SEQUEL!” as Shazzi so eloquently yelled at the end of the movie. I was worried this chick (Who did the whole “Help me, you’re my only hope” thing in Eragon’s dreams) might end up being his sister separated at birth. Cue Wikipedia. Apparently he is separated at birth from someone else, but that the chick is actually supposed to be a hot, leather-clad elf chick. Excuse me? ELF? It doesn’t show.

I found a link to a lovely site that does the comparison between storylines than I can. I’ll let them do the job for me.

And yes, he was fifteen when he wrote it and all I’m really criticizing here is the story written and behind the movie. So I’m criticizing the story. And what could I have written at fifteen? Let’s see, fifteen would put me at grade 9-10. Darkling was a bud, Kiomati had come out, I believe I may have still been working on Enchantress, I was working on my own Mary Sue fanfic and, you know, of course there was RPing. I wasn’t much better with my stories yet. But the key here is that I DIDN’T GET PUBLISHED. There’s a REASON for that. At the very least, the non-fanfic stuff wasn’t based on anything I read. Loss, sure it sounded a lot like something in existence, but I’d never even heard of Chrysalids. He cites some of these things as influences.

But really, it’s an entertaining movie. It’s just the writer in me getting annoyed that someone who copied a bunch of stuff and mixed them together gets published. Also gives me hope for my own stuff, really, since I have original fic. Go see it after you forget Lord of the Rings, Star Wars and any Dragon Riders of Pern books you’ve ever read and it’s fine. Otherwise, I hope you aren’t bothered by similarities.

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