Okay, so after everyone went nuts over the potential Disneyfication of Marvel from the buy out, some things and people made me start thinking of what would happen the other way around. More specifically, Ellis’ “Astonishing X-Men: Doe-Eyed Meat Geyser” announcement, joke though it was. Unfortunately.
But now I have the image of a Disney version of X-Men in my head. So here it is, for the horror of all. Please forgive the writing, it’s quite stream of consciousness.
Bagheera runs the institute of anthropomorphic creatures, formally simple animals that have gained more sentience than they should. While some such as Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck have managed to go out into the world and exist peacefully, most of them are still feared and they are brought to the academy to learn to come to terms with themselves and learn how to exist to help the humans until they are no longer afraid.
Among the students is young Bambi, his mother not quite as evolved as he was and killed by hunters before his eyes. Though he seems well adjusted, he holds a deep routed hatred for humans for what they’ve done. He and Thumper are often getting into trouble, which is how they encountered their third.
There’s also the young prince Simba, much more optimistic about humans and recently transferred in from Africa. He knows few others here, though wants his pride to communicate more with the humans and his uncle Scar assured him this was the best place for him to learn until he was quite old enough to take command of the pride.
Among the teachers is Baloo, Iago and the Chesire Cat, though the Cat always seems to have his own agenda at the school. Bagheera keeps as close an eye as she can, but the Cat is there under specific conditions as a spy for higher powers to make sure the school does not get out of hand.
They find a child left on their grounds, abandoned, that Bagheera takes personal responsibility for under the urgings of Cat. The child is named Mowgli and he is raised as a part of the school, though remains firmly outcast in the student body, particularly butting heads with Bambi.
The main trouble with the school is Bagheera’s old rival, Shere Khan, who believes that the animals should have equal rights already. He is always looking for defectors. Though the teachers at the academy do their best to keep the students out of the fight, it doesn’t always work out so nicely.
And no, you can’t have any of what I was on. It’s mine. MINE!
I may have to keep doing these. Crackfic is fun!
