Different names for payday loans Payday loans UK Why is a payday loan right for you

Archive for the ‘Excerpts’ Category

Day 30: IT’S ALL OVER!

Friday, November 30th, 2012

Reginald and I are celebrating with tea and cake. I hope everyone else’s novels also went well!

It’s been a long month of sick and really not writing much at the end there, but it’s done! Tomorrow I stop staring at the page hoping that words will come out of me and trying to have epiphanies and revelations and instead just focus on life again. Also on a new and altered writing schedule and a very clear goal for at least part of next year.

And now, the very last thing I’ve written.

Final Word Count: 82100

The first thing she saw was a white so bright that she had to close her eyes against it. It was too bright and intense to be the sun and burned spots into her eyes that she could still see when they were closed. Slowly, she opened them again, waiting for them to slowly adjust to the brightness before opening them any wider until she could see the room around her.

Day 28: Rewriting is difficult still

Wednesday, November 28th, 2012

Reginald’s helping me figure out what I have to read once November is over.

I think I need to stop thinking about this as trying to make it good. I think I have to start thinking of it as telling a story again. This isn’t a final draft, it’s just the second draft. It’s still allowed to not be perfect, it’s just not allowed to have explained scenes. I have to show instead of tell everything this time around, right? Maybe that will make this easier.

Word Count: 81341

“Well, the folks back home should be getting an interesting show,” David noted, nodding at the camera.

“Actually, the feed cut out a few minutes ago,” Clyde admitted. “It’s all being recorded, though. They can see it when we get back. Speaking of, there’s a couple things you guys should probably see over here.”

“Like what?” Steve asked, following closely behind and following Clyde’s hand as he pointed them out.

Clyde lead the way back toward the mouth of the cave. “Well, there’s a bit of water dripping over there you might want a sample of. And, of course, the vines, the flowers and the fucking bird of all things. But there’s also a dead naked chick right over there.”

Day 25: PURPLE BAR!

Sunday, November 25th, 2012

Reginald came to dance class with me!

PURPLE BAR! IT IS OFFICIAL! I AM DONE!

And now onto rewriting which is turning out to be difficult and I am constantly worried now about whether or not what I’m writing is any good or if they will turn me away the instant that they look at the first paragraph. Speaking of, this is the first paragraph.

There was a strange shadow pressed against the thick yellow haze. The strangeness was due to the fact that the land was flat for miles around, the compound the only thing around to cast any sort of shadow at all. Still, something had appeared out there a day ago and the people inside the compound were growing restless not knowing what it was. They could detect no new life in the area around them, nothing moving and no changes in the weather. They detected nothing threatening from it at all, but it continued to loom.

Day 21: Replot Done!

Wednesday, November 21st, 2012

Reginald came on a comic run with me.

I think I’m going to cut it down to 2000 words a day for the rewrite and try to actually make them worthwhile this time rather than just fun to write. In the replot, I have already restructured as I went along, though there is one chapter that I have no idea if I should be cutting because it serves a purpose and it is thematically relevant despite being a total nonsequitor. But anyway. Chapter 2.

Word Count: 79028

Chapter 2
She wakes up in the hospital wing under the supervision of Miranda Greenwood, who has a horrible bedside manner. Miranda, frustrated with her and her lack of response, calls her Snow White once before she leaves, locking the door behind her. Snow leaves, looking around the hall and realizes she’s not supposed to be here and is unsure currently where here is. Miranda was unimportant, so she goes looking elsewhere for an important person so that she can figure out where she is. She does not don the clothing Miranda gave to her, but a different set of wardrobe all together.

Brady Greenwood looks out a window and sees a woman standing outside. He runs to tell Edward Lintel, who is currently in conversation with his mother, Miranda and David. Miranda tries to get rid of him and he acts more and more like a child the more she tries to push him away, but David gets Clyde and they head outside and bring her back into the building.

Edward is there to meet with her, as well as Mac. Mac, head of their security, is bothered that he wasn’t briefed about their new, potentially dangerous refugee who was now likely going to start leaking radiation into the building. Edward manages to assure him that she is harmless and gets David grace to help him escort her back to her medical room, mac following insistently along as a silent shadow and letting Edward talk.

Before they lock her in the medical room, she warns them that they will not be safe there much longer.

Day 19: Let the Replot Begin!

Monday, November 19th, 2012

Reginald let me have the prize I got for myself for finishing a novel. An ereader at last!

I have begun going back through Sibyl and trying to figure out the important parts of the chapter, and how I have noted to change things for it around to make it flow better. I’ve also been ignoring some of that advice in retrospect and then leaving it exactly as is because it really wasn’t that bad.

But oh god, the original writing. The chapters were short for one, and the writing itself is… well, not terrible. It’s just so much different than I write now. But yes, just chapter summaries so far. I’m up to Chapter 8 of 19! And one of the chapters is a complete nonsequitor where they read a chapter of a different book and, as it turns out, it’s actually thematically relevant and serves a purpose. I will need to figure out what to do with that later.

Word Count: 77013

Chapter 1

David, Clyde and Steve have been sent out to investigate a strange something that turned up on the scanners that looked like it might be some form of life now growing in the wasteland and a new rock formation that appeared to have formed. There is no sign of organics on their sensors which might constitute living creatures that are moving, so they are safe from the thing being the mutants from the city trying to stage a raid, but there still appears to be something there.

They find a mountain that had not been present before and Clyde climbs it, curious and impulsive. Steve follows afterwards at Clyde’s reasoning. David follows last, still thinking it is a bad idea. They find a clearing on the side of the mountain outside of a shallow cave that has fresh flowers, weeds really, growing and a naked woman lying there.

Determining quickly that she does not appear to be one of the mutants from the city and they could not pull a trick like this, they bring her back with them to the compound. They jokingly name her Snow White and demonstrate a lack of understanding about the story. 

Day 18: MY NOVEL IS COMPLETE!

Sunday, November 18th, 2012

Reginald chilling out at the write in, surely absorbing all the cheese in that croissant for later.

 

I am so happy to be done! The novel, I mean. It’s a weird rush you get when you finish a project, even if it is only the first draft which is filled with issues and will need a rewrite in the future, if only because you decided that one of the characters simply doesn’t exist any more half way through the story. But yay! DONE! And, strangely, I’m really looking forward to the rewrite for this one.

By the way, the novel ends on an incredibly cheesy note. To give the excerpt context, Harrison was trying to make a quick getaway and Max ends up falling out of his wheelchair, which he is in because he’s been shot three times and he’s recovering. And now Harrison is helping Max back into bed and apologizing like crazy.

Word Count: 75232

“It’s okay,” Max said insistently. “I just wanted to talk to you. You’ve been avoiding me.”

“I-”

“You have,” Max said quickly. “What’s the deal? Do you just not want anything to do with me now that it’s all over? Did something happen?” Max looked at Harrison, who’s eyes were avoiding his. Yes, something did happen, he could tell that much. Something he was regretting and Max was sharp enough now that he could figure out what exactly it was. “It’s about the kiss, right?”

Harrison opened his mouth to explain, then closed it again, then opened it again, though no words were coming out. Max waited, not sure what was coming, only that it was going to be a bit of an apology. He felt sorry for it, though Max wasn’t entirely sure why. “I’m sorry,” Harrison started. “Look, I thought you were going to die in there and I really didn’t think I was ever going to see you again and I’ve kind of had a thing for you for a while now, but I couldn’t tell if you felt the same and I kept trying to figure it out, but you were so stuck on the single thing, but Jaime said you were and I wasn’t sure and I just… I thought you were going to die and you were telling me to go away. I didn’t know what else to do. I just – it was kind of a – a spur of the moment thing and I meant it, but I totally understand if you’re mad, okay?”

Max sat a moment, looking at Harrison who wouldn’t look at him. He was scared, his voice wavering and entirely uncertain of whether anything he’d said or done was right, but he was trying to get himself ready for whatever Max was going to say next. Max’s heart felt heavy with anticipation, but still he smiled.

“I’d like it if you asked before you did that next time,” he said after a few moments of silence. Harrison looked back up at him, disbelieving and looking like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. “And maybe take things kinda slow. I haven’t really dated before.”

Harrison smiled wider than Max thought he’d ever seen, one that reached his eyes. “How about we catch a movie once you finally get out of here?”

“Yeah,” Max said, grinning stupidly back. “It’s a date.”

Day 17: Screw it, I DID IT ANY WAY!

Saturday, November 17th, 2012

Reginald’s helping me make motivation tea to finish the chapter.

I KNOW! I missed yesterday. I got busy, things happened, I missed it. And today, I’ve barely written from a combination of remembering that agents I want to work with exist and wondering if any of my work is viable for market and being at my parent’s house so I couldn’t really get any writing done. But I did do a tiny bit today! And I hope to finish the chapter before bed, so wish me luck!

Word Count: 67948

“You have to go,” Max told him firmly. He needed to understand. It was the only way that at least some of them might make it out alive. He would try to keep them from coming after them, but they couldn’t be found with him. The chances Max was making it out of there was almost nothing at this point, and his only chance was maybe getting Willow or Luke to push one another in. At the very least, the rest of them could get out of there and make a break for it. Maybe they wouldn’t be caught again. They might be able to escape this and go home.

He could see how torn Harrison was on his face, his mouth open in protest, but no words coming to him. He looked back, to Jaime who was losing a lot of blood, and Ally awake and trying desperately to keep pressure on his midsection around everyone else, unconscious and injured to differing degrees, and then back to max who continued to hold firm. They had to go. They had to.

Harrison’s mouth closed, jaw tightening and he took a steadying breath as he looked back at everyone else. They needed to go and he knew it. He understood. Max breathed a sigh of relief.

He tensed at first when Harrison’s lips pressed to his own, his body leaning in close. His hand was behind Max’s head, pulling him in close and it took him a moment to register what was happening. He relaxed, his lips moving in return and he leaned into it. His heart was beating faster and his he couldn’t think at all, feeling joy and desperation and like this was the last time they were going to see one another.

Max was breathing heavy when they pulled away, his eyes opening slowly. He wasn’t sure what he hoped for, but Harrison was gone, taking everyone else with him.

Day 15: YAY FOR CRAZY TIMES!

Thursday, November 15th, 2012

Reginald has found the torture characters like never before cake!

I am having so much fun. So much. I got him shot, among other things, and there is all of the crazy happening. People imagining enemies, people getting shot, a 50% overlay of fantasy and reality, ALL OF THE CRAZY FUN.

Word Count: 63213

When the finally put him down at the bottom of the stairs, Luke looked concerned, but Willow waved him forward. He could hear them on the other side of the door, screams from the imaginary people sounding like they were far away and the door occasionally rattling when he presumed one of their imaginary victims was trying to escape their slaughter.

He tried to catch his breath while sitting there, hoping that they wouldn’t get through the room too quickly. His chances of getting out of there were getting more and more slim, he realized, but there was still a chance. Maybe he could push Willow in and Luke would dive in after her. Then he could die slowly beside the incinerator at the end, waiting and hoping that someone would eventually come for him. At this point, that sounded like the best idea he’d ever had.

Hands shaking, he took off his shirt and tore a strip off the bottom with a great deal of difficulty before putting it back on. He was cold, though he wasn’t sure if it was from the building or the blood loss. Carefully, he wrapped up his leg, trying to make it as tight as he could, though he was doing so over a pair of jeans that were getting to be more blood than jeans. At this point, it would have to do.

Day 14: Kidnapping Time!

Wednesday, November 14th, 2012

Reginald is trying to get me healthy enough to write this climax.

I’m feeling a little better today on the writing front, but that might just be the glow of almost being at the climax. It’s kidnapping time, where my main character gets dragged along, unable to escape and forced to suffer his captor’s delusions until eventually they sacrifice him to what is essentially a trash compactor. FINALLY.

Word Count: 59167

“Heads up,” Max said loudly, feeling that the two of them were about to appear. Luke was behind Jaime a moment later, stealing a slice of apple and breaking it into smaller pieces before popping it in his mouth. Willow was by Ally, though only for a moment before popping back over to where Luke was to smack him upside the head. It was more playful than serious, though she looked and felt a little tense. He offered her the remaining half and he caught some of their exchange.

Eat, he insisted. You’ll need your strength.

I am going to throw up already, she said, though her face belied none of it. Let’s just let them know and get out of here. I’ll eat when we get through the gate.

I wonder if they have apples on the other side of the gate.

Willow didn’t reply, instead turning to Ally and starting to sign a message that Ally was quick to relay to everyone else. “They’re going to head out now. They just wanted to see how we’re doing to prepare. Try to get an early dinner today since they should only be a couple hours. Harrison is supposed to go check in a couple hours like we agreed last night to make everything is going okay and they don’t need us for backup. They’re going to head out now and – wait, really?”

“Wait really what?” Ted asked, though Max already knew and was trying to slowly back away.

“They’re taking Max with them,” she said, looking over to Max.

Max was trying very hard to continue to back away from the room but had been stopped at the door and was now unable to move. It was less his own muscles failing him and more that something was keeping him still. Luke and Willow were beside him a moment later and it was very clear what had done it. He looked up, panicked at Harrison, wanting to cry out for him to help him, but he couldn’t move his mouth and, a moment later, he was surrounded by trees.

Day 13: Still Unwell

Tuesday, November 13th, 2012

Reginald is starting to catch my cold. Poor thing.

I am still feeling like crap. Not worse, but certainly no better. And I’m still having trouble focusing on just about everything, so that doesn’t help at all either. Apparently I stayed healthy precisely to 50K and my health has decided now is a good time to deteriorate.

Word Count: 56146

“Just don’t start….” Max could feel something coming, his eyes trailing to a spot over Ted’s right shoulder.

Ted looked back in time to duck a kick from Willow, who decided to follow it up. Ted was prepared enough to draw some water out of the bottle at his side, and bringing it up, freezing it to ice to block the next hit and flinging it at Willow’s head. She ducked it and started to move back into a fighting stance when the block of ice looped back around and struck her hard in the back of the head.

Switch to our mobile site