I’ve taken today off entirely. No writing, just a break between the novels as I recovered from everything. I need a break here and there, you know? I”m at an amazing word count that I’ve never been at before and I really need to take a break every now and then.
Since tomorrow is going to be me writing the next book in the series, today I will post something I wrote yesterday. The editing chapter. I’ll post all of it. BAHAHA!
Back with Lira
Lira put the book down once she was done, not entirely sure what to make of it. It was a little crazy and schizophrenic, changing tones very abruptly from scene to scene and having little consistency. It was like it was written as quickly as possible and padded out to get the proper amount of words in with little to no regard for making it good.
Still, she had to admit there was some promise in the series. If the author had taken a little more time with the Cheshire Cat storyline so that he wasn’t a pedophile, then it might have been all right. Really, it seemed that he just snapped and wanted the book all of a sudden from nowhere. What should have happened was a slowly building curiosity and him being a cat only when Alice was there. Changing into a boy whenever there was someone else aware of his presence was good, but an inconsistent aspect of the story.
And his apparent interest in underage girls? That was incredibly creepy. He was a fourteen year old cat, apparently, in the story. He took on the body of a fourteen year old boy. He hardly seemed aware of his actions as he identified himself as a cat. She supposed it all made sense in that way, but it was terribly creepy. The author probably wanted it that way.
The latter half needed to be extended, as did the former. Have a building rumour aspect of it as the Cat had more to do with Alice than anyone else, have it escalate into full out stalking by the end and have him never leave the story. Let miss Horner have a part in the matter as well, concerned but utterly unable to find Cat or talk to him. That would have made for a more interesting dynamic.
And Adrianna’s brothers! They needed more time and development. The triplets and Lance especially. Evan got his moment at the beginning and could have done with a few more cameos. Travis was only a blip on the radar and Joseph could have used a scene or two more. I suppose the rest of the series could make better use of the other brothers, but it seemed that they were utterly useless in the story otherwise.
There was also quite a bit that needed to be done with Alice’s newfound abilities of treacle tarts. Of all things that give someone a super power, treacle tarts seemed a lot better than having an injection that caused an incredible amount of blinding pain. She should be happy for it and the girl was, but it might have been interesting to see more of her practice with it. It seemed to already be second nature to her in Wonderland, though, so perhaps that attributed some, but it would be nice to have something a little more gradual.
There were other elements and aspect to it that seemed a little odd too. Like when the hell was this happening? There was mention of television, but they talked like they were all from turn of the century England for a lot of it, then modernized it up a little later on. There needed to be a little more consistency with time and whatnot. It was fine in Wonderland, but not so much in other places.
And then there was Wonderland. Some of the stuff seemed to be thrown in so randomly. A little foreshadowing and some elements beforehand would have been nice to cushion the idea of a refrigerator tree. It just seemed out of place, even in Wonderland, especially with the changes. It was off, the whole thing from here and there. But she wasn’t the writer. She just wished she could tell the actual author some of this stuff. One day, maybe.
She thought abut it for a little while, then decided that perhaps the second book would be better. It was the first in the series and it was apparently quite different from the rest of the stuff the author had ever done. It might just take her a little time to get into it. And besides, she had to wonder what would happen with Alice and the Jabberwocky, as well as just about every other dangling plot thread she’d left in the first book. Cat shoved back in Wonderland? How did the ice become a portal to Wonderland? And what was all that about a middle wish pie and granting her middle wish? That kept coming up and it never came to a proper conclusion.
She went to the library and picked up the next book. She made herself a cup of tea, settled down in her comfy chair and thought that maybe she should do something else before starting to read. She wasn’t sure what. Really, she thought that maybe she should be doing something more because someone was trying to write stuff happening to the end of the page and was completely brain dead so she’d come up with some filler delay.
Really, it’s making no difference at all. Lira settled down and started to read.
Tags: looking glass, nanowrimo
